Category Archives: Real Talk

The Single Life

In our Relationships column we talk about more than just finding Mr or Mrs Right. We also talk about dating, break ups, and everything in between, afterwards, and before. One of those “before” moments is helping you find the relationship that matters the most. Your relationship with YOU. Being ok with yourself, and being ok with being single.

I recently came across an article from Rachael Curtis on Good Feed I want to share with you. I found it, like most everything else I come across online, on my Pinterest Feed. It’s called

“5 Things Everyone Should Do While Single.”

Since I’m already happily married, I wanted to see if I had spent my single years wisely and done the things on this list. Clicked over, read through, and… unfortunately, I hadn’t. I was bummed.

I don’t want any other single guy or gal out there to make the same mistake I have. Enjoy your single life. Don’t spend it just searching for your “Mr. Darcy” (Pride and Prejudice reference if you didn’t get it). So click on over and read Rachael’s article for yourself. Even if like me, you just want to see what you missed out on.

Click here to read “5 Things Everyone Should Do While Single.”

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Cheating on my Wife: A Man’s First Tryst

There are all kinds of relationships out there in the world, but here in the states, where our whole society was founded on Christianity, we mostly believe in “man and wife.” I’m not going to get into the whole debate about “traditional” vs “untraditional” marriages because I want to leave this as unbiased a blog as possible, but when I came across this article in Glamour I had to share. I want to know what our readers think about this man’s OPEN RELATIONSHIP with his wife. It’s a very interesting read, and you’ll be surprised to find out who started this whole affair and why. I know I was!

Click here to read and then leave me your thoughts.

Finding Happy Without Him

The stars and moon have risen in the sky and I lay here thoughts full of memories of he and I. I think about the bad and then the good and then the bad again. I dont ever want to fall asleep thinking of the good because that will make me miss him and when I miss him I rather not wake up with the sun.

The journey to become “okay” without him is long and continuous. I am taking it day by day. Thats all you can really do. I surround myself with positive people, play with my kids, and focus more on me. I have to stop myself from thinking of him every now and then but I am finding it gets easier as the days press onward.

One day I went to the park and saw a family much like how mine use to be. Three young children, father, mother. The father was very much engaged with his kids at play and I couldnt help but smile when seeing and hearing the laughter from them. My smile faded when I looked at my kids without their father and tears filled my eyes. It was a struggle to keep my smile on my face. I let the thought of him not being there for the kids interrupt a happy moment for us. I was upset with myself after realizing this and vowed to not let that happen again.

No one ever wants to remember the pain but everyday I remind myself so I don’t think of him. Instead I smile and rejoice in the freedom I have again. Everyday I find my happy without him, without the thought of him, because that’s where my happy starts… with being happy with just myself.

Ten Things Every Husband Wishes His Wife Knew About Sex

I ran across this blog from the husband and wife duo of mission:wife and mission:husband. I was enlightened reading a man’s perspective on how he views sex within his relationship. There’s a lot of sound advice in here ladies, way more than I can post, so I’m just going to highlight his “ten” points:

      1. Sex is not optional in his mind
      2. Husbands use sex to reconnect
      3. He doesn’t always want to be the one asking
      4. He thinks you’re gorgeous, and you can’t change that
      5. Sometimes he just wants to look at you NAKED
      6. He loves it when you surprise him
      7. If you have to say “no” to sex, watch how you say it
      8. He LOVES to see you turned on
      9. He wants sex to be adventurous sometimes
      10. Be a student of your husbands
      11. Yes 11… He loves it when you sexually flirt with him

Gerard of mission:husband goes more in depth about each point, and though it may be long, it is definitely worth the read. Especially if you want to understand your husband, or boyfriend, a little more when it comes to sex. Click on over here. Read up and let me know what you think about his points and whether or not you agree. Then go jump your other half 😉

The Magic Phrase that Saved My Relationship

This past weekend my husband and I had the BIGGEST fight in our entire seven years of being together. The reason need not be shared, but let’s just say it was big enough to make my husband shove me away from him and storm out of the house. I listened as his tires peeled out of the driveway and down the road. I ran upstairs for my phone and called three times in a row before finally leaving him a voice mail begging him to come home. After my fourth call he finally picked up. I apologized and asked him to come home, but he said he couldn’t stand looking at me without feeling the need to slap me and kick me out of the house. He said it was better I let him be. He’d see me in a few hours. Click.

Second by slow second ticked away. I don’t even remember what I did to pass the time. I moved in a daze, my eyes glazed over. I heard my baby crying somewhere far away but whether I moved through the motions of calming him… I can’t really say. All I could think about was how I f*cked up, and how I may have lost my soulmate.

I apologized and asked him to come home, but he said he couldn’t stand looking at me without feeling the need to slap me and kick me out of the house.

I have no idea where my husband went or what he did to blow off all that anger, but when he came home he was calm enough to talk. However, nothing was fixed. We just went back and forth, back and forth. He was still beyond pissed and we ended up going to sleep with our issue still unresolved. It was the worse night of my life. I cried, and cried, and cried. I woke up with dried up tears still on my face. The saltiness was disgusting. It tasted of weakness, betrayal, and regret.

I gathered everything I had and woke up my husband. I had to fix “us.”

I apologized, I explained myself away, and I begged him to forgive me. I was still “me.” I was still the same person he’s loved for the past seven years. This was one mistake. The one and only one I’ve EVER made in our relationship. With my heart in throat, my undying love, remorse and regret reflected in my eyes I stated the obvious to him – “you’re my everything, I can’t bare to lose you, I love you. Do you still love me?”

That was it. Those were the magic words.

Do you still love me?

I watched his emotions change physically in the small minute ways his body reacted to that phrase. He seemed to collapse in on himself, the anger left and all that remained was the raw unfiltered pain. I saw how much I hurt him, how bad it affected him, and I broke down. Seeing his pain hurt more than his anger.

“I still love you.”

The relief that ran through me was elating. I wanted to jump into his arms, to cover his face with kisses, but the pained look he wore on his face… his furrowed brow, dark gaze, stern tight jaw… it made me pause. This was not the look of love.  He turned his eyes to me and the anguish steam rolled me. He still loved me, but he was still too hurt to forgive me. This I could understand. I hadn’t fully forgiven myself either. And yet, knowing he still loved me gave me hope. Love, our love, was strong enough of a foundation to build our relationship back up on. We’d still make it.